Sunday Sanctuary...Endurance

I was so inspired by Laura over at Piece of Cake on Friday when she posted a "day in the life" for us all to read.  A long day that began in the dark and ended long after dusk.  I couldn't wait to steal her idea and write about my "day in the life".  By the way, reading her post here will really make you think.

So not the usual Sunday Sanctuary post for me but I have to warn you that the day that I expected to write about was not the day that occurred.  You can never think you have it all figured out that's for sure.

5:30 am

Eyes sealed shut, I climb over a child, girl I think to let the dog out to do business.  Back in to turn on the Kuerig and wait a whole 30 seconds to get my coffee in hand.  Twenty five minutes myself to think about the day and pray I can do better today with the kids than perhaps I did the day before.

5:50 am

Henry comes down a wee bit early, he says I was being too loud.

6:15 am

Twins come down for breakfast and we go over the plan for the day.  Eat, brush teeth, make beds, and make sure everything is signed in folders.  Spelling test today, so I pump them up.  

7:05 am

Head out the door to get the big boys on the bus.  Cecilia and Henry wait inside and knock at the window waving.  This is quite a game in our house.  Rush back in to clean up from breakfast and beg the two left to go and play so I can get some stuff done.  You know check e-mail to see if hubby sent anything!

7:50 am

As I turn on the I Pod, I realize I haven't actually downloaded a new song since 2008!  Second thought, I guess I don't care.  Listen to Macy Gray's I Try, sing a bit, wipe the table down, sing more, pick up crasins off the floor, La, La, La and load the dishwasher.  I try to remember the importance of this song...can't and still love it though!

On to take the trash to the recycling bin. (Readers this is real life for me)

Amos Lee singing Colors...

Think about making another cup of coffee.  Wonder where my two youngest are?  Better look for them after I make that second cup.  Meanwhile the music is still blaring.  I head off upstairs to tidy up rooms and open blinds.  Hit the last room, Henry's, and as I open the door I hit the trash can.  I look behind the door and find two 1/2 eaten pints of Haagen Dazs ice cream in the trash. Gross, and it is 1/2 melted. 

WHAT?

The food sneakers are in trouble.  I do wonder for a second where the spoons are.  Henry and Cecilia are now sitting at the table in the kitchen waiting in silence.  The music is off for added drama.  The internal question ...is this a lecture moment or a don't care moment?  How do I go about this?  I end up taking an ice cream privilege away next time we all eat it.  Oh, there were tears in their eyes.  I almost give in...yeah I know!

8:45 am

Load these two in the car to get Cecilia to preschool.  Great that we are about five minutes away.  I look at the giant number in my car window.  Perhaps the greatest invention for preschool parents, the car drop off line.

I wish I had this for the Ben and Chris when I had to drag a toddler and a baby every day five days a week.  All in the cold, rain and heat!  However I take one for the team and cherish this for all the others who are in the same boat I was back then.

8:55 am

Head back to the house and listen to a little Jack Johnson and Katie Perry on the way back.  Get Henry started on homework and reading.  I so enjoy this time with him.  We never get one on one time and I am usually rushing around doing other tasks.  With the move and the schedule going from full day kindergarten to half day, I am starting to really like the change.  After school stuff is completed, Henry begs me to call his friend Christian.  He worked all week on a note phonetically spelled, hoping to get his number on paper.  Ring, ring, "Thanks for calling Total Care for Women, if this is an emergency," CLICK.  I explain to Henry that Christian might not know his number.

9:30 am

The countdown begins.  With 40 minutes left until the bus arrives, Henry will ask every 30 seconds if he can go out and wait.  Silent prayer for patience.  This requires a distraction.  We look for chalk in the garage.  Do movers move bits of chalk.  Apparently the military movers move anything.  We find the chalk neatly stuffed into mason jars.  We play hopscotch while I chat in the phone.  I am ruthless at this game and continue to pummel him.

10:15 am

I wave goodbye to my busiest child and run to the car.  With all the stuff going on with Chris's health and the hubby gone for the past three weeks, I needed a little distraction and happily received one through an e-mail.  The kids and I were going to have a reunion with the first guy that I "think" called me a girlfriend, not a PAL, but a real girlfriend.  Over 15 years later, he has become so successful and life has taken him all over the world.  A brilliant lawyer married to a brilliant doctor with two gorgeous girls and still a great person.

10:35 am

Racing to the store, I am thinking about how good my life is and how much I have changed since high school.  All my judgement and grand plans changed.  I wouldn't change it for the world though.  But do I have time to lose 30 pounds in 3 days?  Gotta find something to wear that hides all the scary things that four kids will do to you.  YIKES!  I look at my clock on the cell phone and see that I only have one hour and ten minutes left before I pick up Cecilia at preschool.  What is close?

IF YOU ARE STILL READING...GOD BLESS YOU!  

I enter Target and hope that the store is not filled with neon, the seasons hot new colors.  Thank God for chiffon blouses.

11:45 am

I jump back in the car and make it into the car line. 

With a bit of time, I text my childhood friend the news for the week.  We both get a great laugh about the reality that I have not really been home that often over the last 15 years.  Man I miss Missouri a lot.  It seems like my hubby and I have been away forever.  Sometimes we sit and plan a future back there when he retires from the Navy.

12:10 pm

Cecilia and I head to the kitchen to make a mayo and cheese sandwich for her lunch and she chooses to sit on the front porch.  Chris's doctor calls to check on him and we discuss all the new syndromes that I have found.  He politely explains each one to me and suggests that I not go to page 2 of Google.  He assures me that we WILL find answers.

I prep dinner which only means that I have to pull out the meat to thaw.

For any of you reading that are not stay at home moms, you must be thinking that this day is torture.  I really have come to love this life, REALLY!

Cecilia pops in and I watch her do yoga with my mat ( I never use this).  

Truman the basset hound is now in downward dog position with her.  I watch and think about a green tea cleansing diet.  Pita and hummus it is for lunch.

Yeah, I know this is a giant hamburger that JUMPED out of the fridge!

Feeling even larger, I remember to RSVP late to a birthday party that Henry was invited to.  I ask if I can bring the rest of the kiddos cause hubby is gone.  On the message I let them know I will pay for the other three.  Maybe she will call back.

I take a deep breath and revel in the silence wondering if she is asleep.  Grab my lunch.

I run upstairs to pick up the closet and hang up my new shirt all while trying not to look at my non- cheerleader shape in the mirror.  My good friend Lulu says to moisturize every night and morning.  Mid afternoon and I realize I better get on that.  Cecilia helps me and she lets me brush her hair.  We pop into the laundry room to turn the dryer back on.  It seems a teeny weensy bit damp and any excuse not to fold it, well maybe ten minutes longer.

2:15 pm (already?)

I catch some fresh air when I check the mail to only find junk.  No bills today.  Inside to start the dishwasher, and look at the clock.  I only have 20 minutes left until all three boys come home.  I look forward to seeing their bus come down the street.  We go through our highs and lows of the day and check back packs and of course serve snack.

I receive an e-mail from Ben's teacher requesting a conference. Uh oh.  She would like to meet on Valentines Day of all days.

When the boys run in the door, I have requests for apples, bananas and jelly bellys.  I serve them up and chart Chris's day with him.  I write down everything he eats at school and how many times he goes poop and pee.  This is his life lately.  As I am checking backpacks and promptly throwing out papers, I find Chris's IEP draft to sign.  

Truman is chewing on Henry's ankle outside as I look out the window.  Ben loses a shoe to the dog while walking him.  I offer them more Jelly Bellys to console them.  Does the trick.  Realize that I am shoving them in my mouth as well.

3:30 pm

I send the second email of the day to daddy and fill him in.  I look out on the front porch and find Henry's new golf club bent in half.  No one will confess to doing this.  Sorry grandpa!  This leads me to  make the decision that we will have a quiet afternoon.  Ben needs to read.  Chris waits for a friend to walk by and find our house.  He won't leave the window.  Henry eats a second banana.  

5:00 pm

I decide to do prayer at dinner and they are a bit surprised.  Food is served and we begin to discuss our plans for the next few days.  The kids ask about mommy's old friend and they want to know HER name.  I explain to them that I really don't want them to embarrass me.  They giggle and mutter something about putting away criminals and how they are looking forward to eating out.

I close the kitchen, put them in front of the TV and all is good.  No need to bore you anymore with the day.  I already did.  

Whether you finished this or not, it was really good to keep a log of my life because what it taught me was that there are funny moments and sad moments and extraordinary moments in my day.  I just need to see them for what they are and start each day FRESH!

THANKS LAURA and LULU, you ladies inspire me.  You may be the only ladies who finish this POST!

I Open Up, Finding A Connection At The Lab

Grand plans, even basic plans go out the window when "life" happens.  I have mentioned in past posts that my son has been going through a lot of testing to find a solution to his ailments.  Well, I guess I have to be more specific here for you all to get what the heck is going on.

Around a year ago he was diagnosed with Asbergers and ADHD after a few months of therapy.  Some adjustments with medication and good social skills reinforcement, has brought him a long way.  I guess my hubby and I had been so caught up in his mental health that we failed to notice his physical health was deteriorating.  A minor cold took us to his PCM and upon clarifying that all he had was a cold, we noticed what the doctors called hyper-pigmentation on his arms.  Hmm...

Looking into his file it was noted that he had only gained four pounds in two years.  Fast forward a long trip to D.C. and many tests with geneticists and endocrinologists, we only found that he was short stature and going to be a late bloomer.  People this is not a surprise, neither the hubby or I are tall and I spread my wings a little later in life too.

So many major things were ruled out and quite a relief.  However since November he still only weighs 40 pounds and his twin has gone from 52 to 56 pounds.

Fast forward again, we moved to Virginia and headed into our next step with the pediatric GI people.  Problem is that my son has become very sick (similar to a virus, minus fever).  Just can't keep anything down.  Six times in two months, no other symptoms except the yucky kind.  We have now undergone a brain MRI, x-rays, and more lab tests than I care to count.  Two more tests to come next week. 

 

The reality of all this stuff is this.  The hubby has been gone almost a month, I have three other kids to care for, and my son looks and feels very sick.  Strangers are starting to inquire about his health.  Throw in poor social skills and life is hard for him.

I have been sick with worry myself!

But today as we waited to be called back to the lab, we met a wonderful young man.  For some strange reason he looked strikingly similar to my son, with a definite age difference (twenty something).  He leaned in and asked him what he was in for and the flood gates opened to an eye opening conversation.  He directed most of his question towards him, relating that they were experiencing very similar tests and obstacles.  The wonderful man has been fighting a mysterious disease for ten months and somehow was giving hope to my son.  We all went back to the lab together and he yelled over from his chair, "Let's do this together bud."

While my son did freak out, we made it through.  He then went over to the man and with a little prompting said thank you.  I wished him luck and offered my support and prayers.  

Today on the way to get dinner for the kiddos we talked about our HIGHS and LOWS of the day.  When we got to my son, he said he met someone like him and that he was still happy about life.  Everyone cheered him on.

All the things we have been going through together doesn't compare to the time he had with this wonderfully brave man.  Funny how life works.

While I am still worried about my tiny little man, I feel like that connection was a blessing for the both of us.  

I know I shared too much, but I had to put it out there and fill you all in.  Thanks for reading this far.

As for all of you, I wish you health and happiness!

BE UNIQUE TODAY!

I hope you all have a wonderful day everyone.  Thought I might share what my son picked out to wear to school today.  Can't wait to see the bus driver's reaction to this snazzy look!

He is unique in every way!

The Color In My Life...Morning

As I continue to make changes in my life and with this blog, I am trying to capture daily life for us at the Wilcox house.  Plus, I have this fancy camera I need to use more!

Here is a typical morning full of color.

My little Miss Sunshine, messy hair and rosy cheeks, ready to eat!

This morning we tried a new natural peanut butter with white chocolate in it.  My little guy in the Peter Pan t-shirt thought this was the biggest treat.  Notice his teeth still have not come back in after knocking two out two summers in a row!

The process of eating cereal can drive me up a wall with this one.

How does this happen?  Does it baffle you as well?

Every morning we have to check pockets to see what he is bringing to school.  He needs something to fiddle with, a calming tool.  A bird whistle you fill with water should go over well in second grade!

The dog by the trash can, duh!  The minute I turn my back he will be in it, surprises me every time he does this.  Why?

New golf clubs for the kiddos from Paw Paw and Nana.  If you live on a golf course you have to learn to play right?  I see weapons in our future!

I brought out the love to prep for the big day.  Cheap plastic always says I LOVE YOU!

Have a wonderful day!

Starting Today...Count To Ten

I had a long talk with my oldest son last night as they were all going to bed.  He was just a mess, not listening, lying about simple things like putting a paper away in his backpack, and seemed terribly sad.  I was tired of repeating myself, found the paper underneath the backpack and feeling that something was on his mind.  I sent the rest of the kiddos up to bed and pulled him aside to get him to talk about whatever was going on.

Getting an eight year old boy to put feelings into words goes something like this, "I am just sad, I don't know why".   I ask for specifics.  That is a hard word too.

Finally after I really quieted down and started to cuddle him, he opened up that he needed more positive attention and that he was sad because he was missing his old friends.  He feels bad when the rest of the siblings get in trouble and also he has trouble asking for help in school.

Well, these are all things that can be fixed and worked on, right?

I asked him what I could do to make changes in my responses to his actions.

THE LIST WAS LONG!

Number one:

He said I needed to count to ten.  Have we all learned this?  How many of us practice this in our daily lives?

So I have a new series that I will start today called:  STARTING TODAY (catchy huh?)

Each week I am sure I will find that I can start trying something new in my life that needs work.  I already have a long list of places to begin.

So STARTING TODAY, I am going to count to ten before I get angry and miffed with the kids.  I made a commitment to my son.  In return he said he would sit down with me and tell me about his day, ups and downs during private time after school.

Sunday Sanctuary #37 REAL

Can we get real?  

I mean will you really listen to what I have to say?  

Lately I have been hit with a reality of sorts and it has given me pause.  I mean it is not really life changing or even disappointing my being.  It is the reality that I am loving my job gift of being a mom to four kiddos.  I know right?

Have I been fighting something somewhere in my head that motherhood is supposed to be awful?  I haven't been asking too many questions, I have just been DOING!  Waking up, although a bit early, having a cup of coffee, starting breakfast and waiting for the kiddos to each ask their everyday question.  Don't know where they got it but at different times coming down the stairs and into the kitchen, they say, "Good morning mom, how are you?"

Really, you want to know how I am?  My reply is often "A bit tired but ready to tackle the day!"  

The scary thing to me is how I am enjoying my daily tasks more.  If you know me, you know I have never liked to mop.  Presto chango, it is not really bad.  Keeping the house up has not been a chore rather a routine I can count on.  Have I lost my marbles?  I am becoming the mom I thought was lying when at a group gathering, they would say how much they love being home and wouldn't change it for the world.

I can't tell you what I used to think about that person, it frankly wasn't kind and maybe I was a wee bit jealous looking back.

I read so many blogs that mix it up with crafts, design, and really everyday life that I have made a decision to do just that  You will see a change soon and I am going to open up about life and share a lot more of what the Wilcox family does.  The reality is that I will be taking my camera everywhere, whether doctors,  Starbucks people, or grocery clerks care or not.  My plan of attack is to say I am documenting my life before I get too old to remember it.

HOW DOES THIS SOUND?

In a way it really doesn't matter what you think (okay maybe it does).  For the first time in my life I am not angry about what I do or who I am.  I have not been comparing my life to what it might have been. I just am who I am and really excited about the next adventure in my life.

Has this happened to you?  Where do you stand?  What stage are you embarking on?

*Disclaimer, I still get frustrated with the kiddos, take away privileges like DS, and I still hold a high standard for their behavior.  I am structured and somewhat strict but it may be paying off.  Just at this moment sitting here at the kitchen table, one child spilled his applesauce, one child picked out all of her seeds of the orange in order to plant a tree, one child is picking up every spec of cinnamon/sugar off the plate and adding it to his English muffin, and one child can't wait to leave the table and get his cartoon time.

On a side note, one of my kiddos is about to go through a Brain MRI at the end of the week and although most eight year olds can sit still, this will cause him great anxiety and he won't be able to do it.  The only option is sedation and that brings with it a bag of anxiety that I just have to muster up the strength to help him through it.  Prayers for the week are greatly accepted.

Have a great week everyone!

Wednesday Wallpaper...

Welcome back the Wednesday Wallpaper edition of this blog.  I had a reality check the other evening which made me reevalute why I am doing this blog.  For me?  For others?  For friends?  For connection to the world outside of my box?

The answer all came back to the reality that in order to have more fun with this blog I have to have more fun in my daily life and push myself to achieve a higher standard than I have been setting for myself in the past.  I have a new house, a new city, a present hubby (although gone for the month), and a lot of wallpaper to ditch or replace in this house.

I have been on the lookout for papers that catch my eye and pop with color.  Subtle color, but color nonetheless.  I have narrowed them down to three finalist for the main floor of the house.  I NEED YOUR HELP!

Contestant Number 1:

Via Houzz

This Island Ikat Wallpaper would be an accent in our family room.  I have a ton of mix and match pillows on the camel sectional to make the space more playful.  Check out my pinterest site to see the room inspiration and accessories that I have added.

Contestant Number 2:

So sorry but I couldn't find an image that would not be blury!  This is Dahlia from the Kenneth James Wallpaper line.  I am loving this for our 1st floor bathroom.  I love the bold print and fun that you could have with a fairly large downstairs bathroom.  Again you can look a pinterest to get a crisper pic.

Contestant Number 3:

Chesapeake Wall Coverings have created the Modern Gentleman line and the whole book is to die for.  I am looking at one very similar to this but a bit lighter in the color scheme.  More pale.  I am thinking of this for the dining room.

Can anyone tell me how to "save as" to a file, a pinterest pin on my MAC?  I can't seem to work the darn thing and it is driving me nuts.  

Sorry got distracted!

Paint wise, I know this is about wallpaper but, I need to let you know the colors I am thinking for the "throughout" areas.  I am seriously looking a Wythe Blue, Revere Pewter, and Manchester Tan from Benjamin Moore.  

I know I am not working room by room but finding wallpaper out in the real world is hard.  I found this great little design firm called Great Bridge Design Center  right around the corner from me and Theresa was wonderful.  The had a fantastic selection of books to look through.  So here they are sitting on my dining room table waiting for me to figure out which comes first the chicken or the egg.  How do I tackle this project?  Paint first?  Wallpaper?

HELP ME DECIDE!!!!

I hope to be sharing a little more with the house but a little more of my daily life with you this year.  I have been inspired by so many blogs lately that really tell you who they are not just what they do.  Is that okay with you?  In any case don't be surprised if you see some major shifts this year.

Let me know your thoughts on all of this.  I am so needing help.